Life is what you make it!

Aging, with Grace!

2011-10-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that life truly does come in stages. As I approach the next phase of life, I find my interests changing. Of course I still love electronics....someone please bury me with some sort of communication device so I don't get too bored in that box....ok, a lil morbid, but funny...lol. I remember my early teen years and the most important thing to me was music. I loved music (still do). We (me and my cousins) would hang out in their room performing jackson 5 songs....ok, i know I'm dating myself but its ok, i am very secure about where I am at this point in life, we would sing into our hair brushes, and I swear, we sounded just like those lil black kids....lol, NOT! The Next phase I remember is the late teens at which time I recall becoming interested in boys. I had the biggest crush on this boy named Phillip. For the record, we kissed once but we never became boyfriend and girlfriend. Those were fun years...and it did help that I was H OH TEEE HOT...lol. But, the thing about that is that guys are intimidated by that...for some reason, they don't feel like they measure up to a HOT and Smart (i might add) girl! I loved to go ice skating and still loved music and now had a boyfriend (with a car). The movies were fun too.

I guess some might say I grew up fast at that point but my only goal once I hit 16 was to get out of my parent's home, (i guess thats why i felt good that my son never wanted to move out). Maybe it was strategic on his part but I like to think its because we were pretty good parents.

Spanky's, and there was another club, can't think of the dadgone name but boy did we have lots of fun! Yea, I know we were not old enough to get in, but the world was different back then and we had lots of good clean fun. OH yea, and Fat City Rocked!

Then I moved into another stage of life and wanted to be a wife and a mother. Oh the days of having my babies....still the best phase 'til this day!!! I loved being a mommy. May not have been perfect, but did the best I could with what I had. And oh what beautiful babies I had!

Time moved quickly, and I moved into another phase. At that point in life, i began to crave more....more knowledge, more money, more stability! I went to college....thank you Jean for the support! I went to school and became a nurse. With my degree came big dreams and another phase, the career phase. I wanted a better life. I wanted to succeed. And succeed I did!

They say success is lonely....it is to an extent, but it is what you make of it. The life you have before success is changed....it becomes a distant memory. But those things get replaced with other memories. We have to make many different kind of decisions...which is hard for me because I want to be that same person, just with a career. Is that possible...I need to explore that...soon, real soon!

Then you move into another phase in life, i call this phase, "reliving the youth" phase. We start acting like life is passing us by and we, as my mom puts it "go through a mid-life crisis"...maybe there is some substance to that.

So glad that phase it over...its very tiring....

I am now into a phase I will call transition. I am transitioning from the young, vibrant woman that was attractive and fun loving to the "grown up" phase. Yep, thats right, I said grown up....I feel like I am finally growing up. It took long enough right...and my interests are shifting yet again. I love to travel, I love to cook (though I don't do much of that because of circumstances) and I love to spend time with my children and grand children...oh yea, and did I say I love to shop....well thats been a love across the life span....but now I can actually afford too....life is funny that way!

I'm curious what the next phase is but not in much of a hurry to find out....

Remembering the Human Side

2011-09-24T05:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes as an administrative nurse, I sometimes get so caught up in all the logistics that I almost forget why I became a nurse.

Well, last night I had a lovely reminder. Although it was late and I wasn't feeling well, all I could think about was getting this admit done so I could get home and rest, I was in for a big surprise. As I worked with an elderly lady, trying to get the information I needed to bring back to the team so we can take care of her, I remembered the human side. As I talked with her, though she never spoke a word, I remembered the first time I realized that my patients were more than patients, they were human.....they were truly someone's mother, daughter, sister, wife or grandmother. or father, son......

As this little lady lay in her bed, in the dark, with a roommate across the room, her eyes glue closed from poor care, my heart softened. She never spoke a word as I took the warm cloth and gently cleaned away the glue that kept her from seeing this beautiful world that was created for us. Although I really don't think she was able to see me because of the ravage the illnesses has taken on her vision, when she touched my hand, it was as if she was saying Thank You. Thank you for taking that moment to make me feel human. Thank you for touching me with the gentleness of angel.

I began to think about who she was throughout life. I wondered about her life with the man in the picture taped on the wall beside her bed. I wondered about the days she woke to take care of her little ones and I wondered about the grandmother that helped to nurture her grand children. Those thoughts gave me a warm feeling but also a sad one. Here lay a once vibrant human being, no real quality left to her life, but I then thought....He still has her here, why? What is that one final thing He has given her to do? That one duty among all the other duties, to do? I wonder???

Thank you Lord, thank You for giving me the opportunity.....

lol what a spazzzzz

2011-09-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

tried to change my background and this is the result...gonna need some help yall!!! And i call myself computer savvy...lol

UGGGGGHHHHHH

2011-09-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

hurt, pain, despair, anger, disappointment, sorrow, sadness...the emotions i deal with every day....

Trying to say whats inside...

2011-08-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

Its so hard for me to say whats inside because most of the time i don't even know myself. There are so many things always swirling around in this pretty little head of mine...lol, no, i'm not complimenting myself, just using an old adage. Always trying to figure out the next step, the right step...but for who, for me, for you, for others....for who??? Uggghhhhhh!!!!!!Please, help me Lord, help me figure this life of mine out?

Life is what you make it!: In all my wisdom...

2011-08-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

Life is what you make it!: In all my wisdom...

In all my wisdom...

2011-08-12T21:40:00.001-07:00

In all my wisdom and the very busy days in which I live, i have the distinct pleasure of enjoying so many beautiful moments. Over the last few months it has become abundantly clear to me just how blessed I am to be a part of the lives of the ones I helped to create. Not always easy, but I still get lost in those special moments. As tough as it is that my girls have to call me by first name, when they mistakenly call me Mom I feel warm inside...that is what I dreamed of being as a little girl and that little girl still lives inside of me. Sometimes the inconvenience of other's necessities are memories that we treasure forever. I know I will look back one day and reflect on the days that my babies spent with us in our office, or the mornings when my baby girl comes with Mommy for a brief moment to spend with MawMaw before she is whisked away to begin her day with her little friends. The moments when my baby boy runs down the hall only to appear at my office door and yell "surprise". Oh the joy in their little faces when they get to write on the board or sit in my lap and pretend to work. I love when they notice another picture of themselves or each other in my office. And cookies and berries, their little treats, it brightens my every moment! And my little walnut, he is just beginning his little journey at MawMaw's office. I get so excited when I think about him crawling around and running the length of the hall in his very own little cart. I am not sure if they realize how much those little faces lighten my heart, they are as much my life as their mothers were. Thank you God for such special little gifts!

My Faith

2011-02-20T18:52:00.000-08:00

Its amazing to see how God works! It has only been a short time since I have found God again and have begun my journey to live according to His word. I know that along the way there will be challenges. I know that I will be tested and I know that there will be people who either question my faith or lash out at my faith, but I also know that it is my faith that will get me through it all. A long time ago I came across a saying that I have never forgotten: If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it. I believe that with all my heart. I know there are times when I will fall weak but I also know that He will be right there to pick me up. I realize now that it is all in His time, not mine. I know that, right now, I may not understand but I have faith that with time He will reveal all things to me that I need to know.
Thank You Jesus, for dying for my sins and the sins of the ones I love. I only ask that you continue in my heart as strongly in the future as you are today.

I guess He has a different plan.

2011-02-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

I always dreamed of what it would be like to have grandchildren and God was gracious enough to show me. Unfortunately, my vision and his must be totally different. I always envisioned that I would be a much bigger part of my grand children's lives. I thought maybe I would get to spend much more time with them. My brief seconds with them as their parents pass through my office with them or I have to meet them on the road to deliver something to them is pretty much the extent of it. I know their reasons and have no choice but to respect those reasons but I pray one day God will reveal the truth! I trust that God has his reasons for the situations that we ALL find ourselves in. And I trust that he will make obvious, the not so obvious. Until then, I will accept what I have and live life to fullest.

Going to Cali...

2009-02-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

I am so excited, I am going to California next month. For so long I have said, I have gone North, East, I live in the south and now I just need a trip to the West. Well I am finally getting it. It is a business trip but I do plan on getting some pleasure in during the trip. I am going to spend some time and do some learning in our corporate office. I have the absolute best boss there could be. California here I come. I will post pictures when I get back....tootles!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-29T22:24:00.000-08:00

Things have been so hectic but at least I did manage to have a little Christmas Cheer! I finally got to spend Christmas Eve with my family. These are a few pictures of my daughters and my Grand children, Ashli and Davin & Mitzi and Bryli. They are all so beautiful! I love 'em all so mukch!

2008-12-29T22:19:00.000-08:00

2008-12-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

Learning to navigate is getting on my nerves!

2008-12-29T21:49:00.000-08:00

Every time I come here I realize why I like myspace! This site is way too hard to edit. I cant find layouts and when I do the picture only shows up in one little spot on my page...ie...the bottle of champagne. If it were myspace, the whole background would change. If anyone wants to give blogspot 101 lessons feel free to post me some instructions. grrrr!

My first time here

2008-12-16T09:25:00.001-08:00

Hello, I am a newbie here. Never really thought about it, just always did the myspace thingy. So here I am!!!